Discipline

Growing up I had the impression that when my parents disciplined me it was more about their desire to inflict pain and damage into my life rather than to benefit me. Now that I have my own children I see things a little differently. To discipline someone requires a level of selflessness and sacrifice.

For example; yesterday my daughter told me that my son had peed in the plastic blow up pool in our backyard. When she told me about this I was in the middle of figuring out some finances and getting ready to have guests for the next few days. Immediately two things arose in me; first there was a deep sense of anger. I was angry that I had to stop figuring out what I was doing and teach my son something that we talked about many times before (there was also a little shame involved because Walker’s lack of peeing discernment reflected on me as the male leader of the household). Second, I though “can I just ignore the fact that this happened”.

In all reality I did not want to discipline or train my son at that moment. I wanted to be selfish and do what I wanted to do. But, in order to properly train Walker I needed to drop what I was doing and address the character issue(s) he was dealing with.

So I sent him to his bedroom and walked him through why it’s wrong to pee anywhere other than the toilet. Apparently, after all the confessions, he didn’t pee in the pool just in the bathtub. He was appropriately moved by my words of what would happen to him if he urinated anywhere other than the toilet in the future.

This disciplinary process showed me something about the nature of God’s discipline. As humans we can discipline selfishly in hopes of changing people so that our lives our easier, God’s discipline is selfless and done so that our lives our bettered.

Currently our family is undergoing some disciplinary measures by God, it is not pleasant. At times I question his love for us, his provision and even whether or not he truly knows what is going on. Last night he brought this thought to my mind: “Ethan, disciplining you is not something I sadistically enjoy, its something that I do (and enjoy) because I love you and I want you to know more of me.”

In my hour long commute to Boulder this morning the thought of God's heart towards my discipline comforted me. I am grateful to know that he disciplines us for our good, and he does not revel in sadistic pleasure as we go through hard times, but walks with us in disciplne so that we see him more clearly.